I had always heard these stories from other women in my life about the moment that they knew they were pregnant and how it changed them. I was both skeptical and curious about how it actually felt – whether they actually felt changed or if that was just something pregnant women are “supposed” to say. If they really do feel changed, how so? In August of this year, I finally found out for myself that it’s true. To the very core of your soul – you feel different.
Nick and I had talked for some time about having babies together and when we decided to start trying, we anticipated having to wait a few months at least to get pregnant. We had read that it takes the average couple 8 months to 1 year to get pregnant, so we just assumed that we would fall within that range. It took us two weeks.
I came home from work one evening after having felt odd all day and decided to take a shower. I walked into the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror and all of a sudden I just had this feeling that I should take a pregnancy test. I took the test and then rather than stare at the strip for the next two minutes, I put it underneath the sink in the cupboard and got in the shower. After I got dressed and still had not looked at the test, Nick came home and came in to say hello. I told him I had taken a test and he looked at me like I was crazy. “Isn’t it a little early for that,” he said. I knew it was early. And my brain knew that it was too early and there was no way I was pregnant already and that even if I was, the test was definitely not going to pick it up this soon. But I knew. We looked at the test. Two lines. One was very dark and obvious and the other was faint. Maybe the test was expired or maybe it was a fluke. Nick was out to the grocery store and back in seconds with more tests. I took two more tests and the same two blue lines appeared each time.
Nick held me on the couch and was all smiles: so happy and excited. I balled. I’m not even traditionally a big crier but there were SO many emotions that flood your body when you know you’re pregnant that crying was the only way my body could cope was to ugly cry. Nick was concerned that I was unhappy and I had to explain through hiccups and snot that I was beyond thrilled – it’s just so much to process at once.
Weeks and so many changes later…(I will be writing a post in the next week or so on my experience with the first trimester – it’s been hilariously bumpy to say the least!)…I find myself 15 weeks pregnant and writing this post full of excitement about what future weeks will bring. Nick and I are so happy to be having our first baby together and giving Ella and Charlie another sibling. They are also SUPER excited and very good at giving me advice since they have seen their mama go through a few pregnancies and they have lots of experience helping her. I don’t think they could get any sweeter and I am fortunate to have this wonderful family to help us love our new baby.
I’m excited and motivated and terrified and so filled with love. When you find out you’re pregnant you feel different. I felt different before I looked or felt physically different. But like so many other women before me, who tried unsuccessfully to explain their experience to me, you just feel different. And maybe that’s the whole point – that it’s an experience reserved for and made all the more special for new mamas.
XOXO – Em
Thank you so much to BHLDN for sending me these gorgeous pieces from your collection. I am beyond honored and grateful.
Thank you to Evergreen Flower Co. for the gift of my flower crown. I felt like a princess, which is how every pregnant woman should feel. Evergreen is hosting a flower-crown making workshop on Thursday, November 12 in Columbus if you’re interested in learning how to make these beauties yourself.
The W Nail Bar gave me the sweetest manicure for this post – it is one of my favorite guilty pleasures to stop in their shop and get pampered. Love you girls!!
And thank you to the talented Emma Parker of Emma Parker Photography who is a shining example of a human if I have ever seen one. Your energy is infectious.